


Falling

by Uncatchable (Pdxtrent)



Series: The 'Falling' Universe [1]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-07-26 01:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16209698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pdxtrent/pseuds/Uncatchable
Summary: TJ realizes that he likes Cyrus as more than a friend right after the apology. Now he has to decide what that means to him.





	1. In the Midnight Hour

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I have totally fallen for Tyrus. Usually I don’t post my fics, but I figured I’d give it a shot. And yes, there are more chapters coming. I love the head canon that TJ already knows he’s gay and has no issues with it. But let’s be real, TJ is likely peak disaster gay waiting to happen. He likely isn’t in tune enough with his emotions to realize he’s gay until love hits him over the head with it IMO. I hope you enjoy this.  
> There will be two story arcs to this fic. One with a decidedly unhappy ending, and a sequel with the HEA. This roughly follows canon storyline, to the end of season 2. After that, probably not so much.  
> (Also, bonus points if you can figure out without google what classic 80s and 90s songs the chapter titles come from. The chapter titles for the second arc will be 2000 to today.)

    TJ couldn’t sleep. 

       It all started in that moment when he just wanted a last glimpse of Cyrus while he was walking away, so he had glanced back over his shoulder at him, and that look on Underdog’s face, pride and joy and amazement altogether. When he saw it, TJs heart had exploded. He realized he wanted Cyrus to always see him that way. He wanted to always be the guy who deserved to be seen that way. 

      And then, as he’d walked away, it hit him like a physical blow. This wasn’t a normal feeling. This wasn’t friendship anymore. Something had changed somewhere along the line. 

      Oh, he thought, finally putting a name to it with a feeling of sinking dread, this is what people meant when they said ‘in love’. It was like lightning across his body. A tightness in his heart. 

       The longer he walked the more it all came together in his head. His thoughts raced. When was it exactly? When did things change? Or was it always a crush from day one? 

Was it the day in the gym? 

At the swings? 

Good god, was it that first day in the lunchroom? 

How had he missed it? 

Was he gay? Bi? He hasn’t thought much about it to that point. While he hadn’t had a crush on anyone, there hadn’t really been time. School, basketball, the gym, friends, helping with his sisters. He’d always just assumed he was straight and hadn’t met the right girl yet. 

      And suddenly, worse than it had ever been, his old fear and despair settled over him. How could this have happened? Why was this happening to him?

      In a sudden flash he thought about that damned chocolate chocolate chip muffin. Yeah, that was where this had started. He remembered the way he’d felt when those kids in line had started yelling at Cyrus. That’s where it had begun. 

        As he came through the door he barely noticed his mom asking about his day. He had no idea how he’d responded. All he could think about was the look on Cyrus’s face when he held that muffin. That triumph, that joy.

       His homework passed in a daze as he re-examined each memory. 

      The night of the Bar Mitzvah. The cryptic words of the fortune teller. 

      The day in the park. He’d recognized Cyrus from a distance, and something in the way the boy had sat with such sadness had pulled TJ a  little out of his own misery and he’d walked over and caught the adorable little singsong that Cyrus was barely singing.

      He should have realized right then that there was something different in his reactions to the boy. He had been so surprised that Cyrus had a slide song too. It had filled him with an unexpected delight that now TJ knew that was so completely how Cyrus always made him feel.

       His Underdog never ceased to amaze him with his passion for things, and more, his capacity to really care about other people. Even people like TJ that he should hate on principle. 

      TJ smiled again as he thought about the look of joy as Cyrus declared the simple act of swinging outside his limits as exhilarating. 

      Then that unexpected kindness in the gym when he’d revealed his fear so completely, and Cyrus just accepting and helping him confront the fear, and somehow soothed it all away. It was breathtaking. How could he not fall in love with him a bit after that? 

         He didn’t even notice his mom’s look of worry as he picked at his dinner, clearly lost in thought. 

       He barely noticed as he filled the dishwasher and took the garbage out. And remained lost in thought while he went up and lay on his bed, mostly ignoring the homework that was waiting for him.

       He was still lost in thought when she knocked on the door.  

      “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked in her quiet voice. 

       He shook his head. “No, I’m just trying to figure out some stuff.” 

       “Should I be worried?” She asked lightly. 

       He smiled. “It’s nothing bad mom, I promise. I just realized something and I can’t stop thinking about-“ he shrugged. “Everything I guess. I’m thinking about everything.” 

       She smiled at him, this oldest and most difficult of her children. She was worried because he’d always been fearless, and when he’d walked in the door she thought he almost looked afraid. “Whatever it is, you know your mom loves you, always.” 

      He smiled up at her, “I do. But it’s nice to hear again.” His smile slipped from his face. “But what if-“ he stopped. 

       She answered “Always means always Thomas.” 

       He rolled his eyes. “I hate when you call me that. But what if you found out I’d done something horrible, like shot someone, or robbed a bank?” He continued with an urgency that  unsettled her.

       “TJ, did you rob a bank or shoot someone?” She asked.

     “No!” He said. “I wouldn’t. Ever.” 

     She nodded, smiling. “I already know that. You’re a good boy for all you try to be tough. I know your heart though. And it’s good all the way through. There’s nothing you could be capable of that would change that.” 

      “I’ve done cruel things mom.” He shook his head. “I’ve said terrible and mean things that I regret so much.” 

      “And you can try to fix that.” She replied simply. “It’s never too late to be a better person, but it gets harder the further you go down that other path.” 

      He nodded. “I think I’ve learned that. It’s hard to undo the things I’ve said though.” 

      “Yes, but I guarantee it’s worth it.” She replied as she sat down on the edge of his bed. “Don’t be a man like your father. Be better.”

       “Is this what’s eating at your heart tonight?” She asked. “These cruel words?”

       “I wish that’s all it was.” He said quietly. He looked at her with a quiet desperation. A sudden pang of need she’d never seen on his face. “Would you still love me if I was gay?” He blurted out.

      All at once so many little moments from the last few years clicked into place in her head and heart. 

       “Is that what this is about?” She asked quietly. 

      He nodded. “I think so.” 

       She leaned forward and gathered her firstborn back into her arms as he started to cry. “Oh my Thomas,” she whispered. “I love you. Always. And this changes nothing.” 

      His silent sobs shook her to her core as she held him. She wondered if her son was mourning a future that wouldn’t be now, or if it was fear of the new unknown future before him. But she vowed to herself that she would make sure he’d see this as an opportunity not a loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor emo TJ. I feel for him though. I borrowed bits and pieces from my own coming out for the scenes dealing with that. Though TJs father will be a completely different response, unfortunately.  
> I honestly have no idea how long this will run, I have a lot of ideas for the story. Let me know if there’s something you want to see. No promises, but I’ll try to add things.


	2. A step to the left, a step to the right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy figures out that Cyrus has a new crush. And confronts TJ about her suspicions as to his motives.

      They’d been at the Spoon for almost an hour before Buffy noticed there was an odd frenzy to Cyrus’s chatter. He was terrible at deception even when he wasn’t trying to actually lie about something. It was one of his most endearing qualities.

      His conversation ranged over all the usual topics, until she looked up suddenly with realization in her voice. “You have a new crush don’t you?” She said. 

      Cyrus flinched. His eyes darted everywhere but at her. “Nooooo-yyyyyyeeeesssss.” He said slowly. 

     “Cyrus, there’s nothing wrong with having a crush! Who is it?” She smiled in delight. What could he possibly feel guilty about?

     “Buffy, no, it’s terrible. I didn’t mean to, and especially not him.” Cyrus said quietly. “Please Buffy, say you won't hate me?"

     "Cy, Don’t be crazy, why would I...?" She stopped as it all came together at once. “It's TJ isn’t it?" 

      He nodded, a look of despair and suffering so obvious on his face. “It wasn’t until his apology  that I even realized it. I don’t even know when it happened.” 

      She shook her head. “Oh Cyrus. I could never hate you. But this explains so many things.” She looked at him. “This is why you betrayed me to him. I thought he must have caught you off-guard, or it slipped out somehow. But this, this explains it.” She reaches out and gripped his hand. 

      “I have the worst taste in crushes.” He replied miserably. 

      She nodded. “Yeah, you really do. I mean, TJ Kippen, really? Fortunately you have great taste in friends.” 

       She paused. “Wait. Do you think he likes you too?” 

      He gave her a flat level look. “TJ? I doubt it.  I mean, he likes me as a friend, clearly.” He shook his head. “But no, I don’t think he’s interested in more than that. He seems as hopelessly straight as the Jonah.”

      She thought for a minute about what she actually knew about TJ “I haven’t heard that he has a girlfriend. Actually I don’t know if he’s ever had a girlfriend come to think of it.” She shrugged “And he’s certainly nicer to you than anyone else I’ve ever seen. Don’t sell yourself short Cy, this may not be a lost cause.” She shook her head. “But seriously, Jonah, and now TJ? What’s your thing against smart guys?” 

      He groaned. “I don’t know. I mean, TJ is smart, but apparently I have a type. ‘Appallingly self confident jocks’ seems to cover it.” He shook his head. 

      “I see why we’re friends now.” She said lightly. 

      “Can I just die now?” He groaned. 

      She patted his hand. “Cy, it’ll be okay. If nothing else, there’s 10 other guys on the basketball team and they’re almost all appallingly self confident. I’m sure we can find you another one if TJ doesn’t work out. Mathematically he odds are in your favor. Maybe Will, he’s got that relaxed low-key fun vibe.”

     “Buffy, I appreciate your levity over my personal tragedy, but can we please focus on what a disaster this is going to be?” He groaned again. “I’m supposed to hang out with TJ tomorrow morning. He’s going to know!” 

     “Cyrus, if he’s straight he’s never going to notice your crush, Jonah didn’t did he?” Buffy said confidently.  

      “Buffy! You know I think Jonah is great, but he is the most oblivious human being ever born! He might not even know I’m a boy yet!” He sighed. “TJ always notices things. He’s going to be able to tell something has changed.” 

       Buffy paused, something Cyrus had said reminded her of something her mom always said. “Really? He always notices?” 

      Cyrus groaned. “YES! I think he understands my moods better than anyone except you and Andi! He always knows when I’m feeling down or when I’m avoiding something. He’s going to know!” 

      Buffy pondered. TJs apology had been so out of character to the person she’d thought he was that she still hadn’t processed who this new person was. She didn’t even know how she really felt about new TJ as himself, let alone as boyfriend material for her best friend. 

      The more she thought, the more surprised she was by TJs behavior. Why was he trying so hard to be a better person? What had changed? And she could only come up with one thing. She had a flashback to that first glimpse of a human being she’d seen in him. In the cafeteria over the chocolate chocolate chip muffin.

       “You’re being uncomfortably quiet Buffy.” Cyrus complained. “What horrible things are you thinking?” 

      “ Nothing horrible actually Cyrus. She looked at the time on her phone. But I need to go. There’s something I have to do.” Buffy stood up.

     “Buffy, you’re not going to say anything to TJ are you?” Cyrus said in a panicked tone.

     “I’m not going to say anything about your crush if I see him Cyrus. Though it would seem strange if I didn’t say hi if I were to run into him right after we finally decided to not be enemies.” She smiled, “my errand isn’t about you.”

      Cyrus eyed her suspiciously. While he was a terrible liar Buffy was not. But she’d never lied to him about something like this. “Wait, is this about YOUR crush? His mood took an instant 180. Buffy, tell me!”

     “I’m still not telling Cyrus, and stop asking! I gotta go!” She said as she rushed out.

 

       Buffy knew Cyrus wouldn’t approve of her plan, but that’s because he was predicting a disaster and Buffy had a strong suspicion that he was wrong. But she also wasn’t going to break her word to Cyrus. There was a different way to get the result she wanted.

      She was cutting across the park towards TJs house when she saw someone sitting on the swings where she was used to seeing Cyrus. She was surprised when she realized it was TJ. She veered off the path to cut across to the swings.

      She sits down in the swing next to TJ as he looks up. He looks surprised to see it’s her sitting next to him.

      “I was on my way to your house when I saw you over here.” She said. 

      He nodded, with a distracted look. Then turned. “You were coming to see me. Why?” 

     She nodded. “I have a question for you, and don’t tell Cyrus he has no idea I’m here and it would make things very awkward.” 

     He laughed. “You certainly never do what I expect Driscoll, I’ll give you that. Whatcha got?” 

     She paused, not sure where to begin. “I’ve been trying to figure you out.” She started. “Why you changed so suddenly to me. And I think I figured it out.” 

      He grew very still. “Oh yeah? And what did you decide?”

     “I haven’t decided anything yet. But I wanted to ask you.” She replied.

     He shrugged. “It’s no mystery really. I decided I didn’t want to be that guy anymore.” 

     “Are you sure it wasn’t because of Cyrus?” She asked. 

     He frowned slightly and shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean, what are you asking?” 

     “Do you like Cyrus?” She paused. “As more than a friend.” 

       She continued when he didn’t respond. “I’ve been thinking back to that day in the cafeteria. It was the first time I’d seen you act like a normal person. I thought it was because you wanted me to tutor you, but then earlier today, at the Spoon it clicked in my head. All of this; your change, your apology, it’s because of Cyrus isn’t it?”

       He didn’t move. She wasn’t even sure if he was breathing. His face was expressionless.  And then, without saying a word, he got up and started to walk away.

      “TJ?” She said. 

      “Driscoll, I can’t talk about this. Not right now. Please, just... leave this alone? Please?” He looked at her with the most hopeless look. 

      “TJ,” She started to say as she stood up “this isn’t an attack. I’m not going to say anything, not even to Cyrus. You know my word is good.” 

      He nodded. “I just need to think about this.” He paused. “I’m not ready-“ He paused like he was searching for some more words that just weren’t there. 

       She nodded and stepped closer to him and took his hand. She thought it might be the first time they’d ever touched. “TJ, I’m here if you need to talk. WHEN you need to talk.” 

      He nodded. He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t just say it to her. But he knew once he did it would change everything. He pulled his hand out of hers and walked away across the park.

       After a moment Buffy pulled out her phone and texted Andi: “we need to talk. Where RU?”

       Andi replied almost instantly: “Home? U?” 

       “At the park. Be right there.” Buffy replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a little conflicted by having Buffy do this’s the end, but it feels in keeping with her personality, and I like that she’d be the person to tell the exact truth in a way that was deceptive to leave her free to act.


	3. If Your Lost You Can Look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy takes action, because Buffy.

     Andi opened the door to Buffy’s very serious face.

      “What’s wrong?” She said instantly. 

      “Okay first, I’m not completely sure about this.” Buffy started with then, when she saw Bex she paused and said “Hi Bex!”  

      “Hey Buffy,” Bex waved from the couch. 

     “Let’s go for a walk.” Buffy said to Andi. 

     Bex looked up. “Should I be worried?” 

     “No, I just need advice but not from a parent type. Not yet anyway. I’ll let you know if that changes.” Buffy said. 

      Andi, who’d taken the chance to pull on her shoes said “alright, let’s go.” And they walked out the door. 

       As they walked down the street, Buffy tried to decide where to start everything. Not with Cyrus’s crush, that wasn’t her story to tell. But TJ. Buffy may have forgiven him but Andi wasn’t quite so convinced. 

      “So, you know how you still think TJ is a weasel and has an ulterior motive for apologizing?” She said. 

      Andi nodded. “He does. I’m sure of it!” 

      Buffy nodded. “I think you may be right, but I don’t think it’s what we thought. I don’t think his intentions are bad exactly.” 

     Andi rolled her eyes. “Does TJ have any other kind of intention?” 

     Buffy nodded soberly. “I think he might. I don’t know anything for sure, but when I asked him he didn’t exactly deny it. But I did sort of promise I wouldn’t say anything, which I think was more of a ‘say anything to Cyrus’ than you.”

       “What did he say?” Andi replied impatiently. 

      “It’s what he didn’t say in this case,” Buffy said. “I think, I’m almost sure, that TJ has a crush on Cyrus.” 

      Andi stopped and looked at Buffy in almost horror. “TJ Kippen” she hissed. “And Cyrus?!” 

      Buffy nodded. “I’m not sure. But it all makes a certain sense. If he’s trying to be a better person because he wants Cyrus to think he’s good enough...”

      Andi leaned against a convenient stop sign. She nodded. “It does make sense. I guess. If TJ Kippen was capable of love. Well, of any emotion besides being awful.” She looked up, “which I’m still not convinced of.” 

     “Andi, you didn’t see him when I asked him.” Buffy shook her head. “I’ve never seen anyone look like that. It was like the look you’d see on Cyrus if I’d taken a muffin right out of his hand.  I think he was really upset. It wasn’t-“ She paused. “It wasn’t the look he’d get if I was wrong, but more like he was upset I’d figured it out.” 

      “And then he asked me to just leave it alone. Not a denial. Not anger. Almost more like he was begging me. If I could feel bad for TJ, my heart would have broken for him right then.” 

      “Are you sure he wasn’t faking it?” Andi replied. Clearly not ready to let go of her suspicions about TJ.

      “No ones that good. And there’s no point to it. It wasn’t a denial, it was more like a-“ She paused, searching, “like he just didn’t want to think about it. Or talk about it.” 

       Andi paused. She understood that feeling all too well. Wanting to just bury feelings til they went away, though it never worked, not really. “And if you’re right?” She whispered. “Do you think Cyrus-“. 

      Buffy shrugged. “I’m not sure. But Cyrus doesn’t see TJ the way we do,” she paused, “well, did.” 

      Andi nodded. “Cyrus loves making enemies into friends. This could be a disaster!” 

      Buffy looked troubled. “But would it? TJ has changed. And he changed for Cy. If it’s about feeling worthy to be with him, this might not be the worst possible thing.” She shrugged. “And if he screws up I can always kill him.” 

      Andi laughed. “Do we say anything to Cyrus?” 

      Buffy shook her head. “No. Not yet. First, I told TJ I wouldn’t. Second, we don’t know how Cy would feel about it.” Which wasn’t totally true Buffy thought, but she doubted Cyrus wanted her to tell Andi since he knew how she still felt about TJ. 

     “I guess that means I have to give TJ a chance, don’t I?” Andi said. 

     “Probably.” Buffy said. “But I’m not going to let him beat me at basketball.” 

     Andi laughed and they started walking back to the apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah Buffy. I love that she is a person who takes action. I want to write a fic someday that’s just her being a BAMF.


	4. Darkness on the Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ gets advice and perspective from a friend, and makes a decision.

Tyrus part 4 posted

      TJ didn’t know where to go when he walked away from Buffy at the park. He’d half-hoped Cyrus might show up and just make things better the way he always did. The last person he’d expected was Buffy. And he’d panicked. He wasn’t ready to answer her questions and he didn’t even think to lie about it. If he was going to stay in the closet he’d probably need to figure that out.  
       He was actually surprised when she told him she’d be there when he was ready to talk, it was like she knew the answer and wanted to make sure he knew she was in his corner. It made him feel less alone. But it didn’t answer the question that burned in him.  
      He hadn’t really thought about if Cyrus was into guys before he’d realized his own feelings. Now it was all he could think about. 

       Underdog had mentioned an ex-girlfriend but said it hadn’t been right for him. Now TJ wished he’d asked more questions about why it wasn’t right. It was a random comment at the time, and now it’s answer was everything to him.  
       He found himself drifting toward the south side elementary playground, with its outdoor hoops. Chances were on a Saturday there’d be guys hanging out and playing ball. He didn’t show up often since he started working at the gym, but if he wasn’t going to obsess over this any longer, he needed a distraction.  
       When he got to the courts he saw a bunch of guys as he expected, and no Driscoll which was good. The only one he knew well was Will from his team, who’s older brother had helped TJ learn the game in the first place. Will smiled and nodded and high fived him when he arrived.  
       “Alright Kippen! I’m guessing you’re here to play?” Will said with a smile.  
       With a smile. TJ slipped into the TJ -shaped person he wasn’t so sure he was anymore and said “you know it Stanton! I had some time before work and thought I’d come show you boys how it’s played. ”  
       They played one on one for an hour or so, then joined the pick up game with some other guys. The feel of the ball in his hand and the familiarity of the game took him into that headspace he was used to.

        Old TJ was so easy to slip on it was amazing. Not the meanness, Will had never brought that out in him, but the comfortable arrogance and effortless surety he was so used to.  
         As they sat on the bench to cool down, Will looked over at him. “Is everything okay with you?”  
         TJ almost flinched when he said it. Because all of New-TJs problems came crashing back into him. “Yeah, just dealing with some stuff.” TJ replied with a shrug.  
        Will nodded. “Girl stuff?”  
        TJ shook his head.  
        “Boy stuff?” Will asked after a minutes hesitation.  
        TJ frowned at him. “What do you mean?”  
        Will shrugged. “Man it’s 2018. It’s a legit question. I don’t like to assume. My brothers gay you know.”  
        “Ethan?” TJ replied in surprise.  
       “Only brother I’ve got. He finally told us this last year, I’ve been getting used to it. He’s still the same guy. Still plays a mean game of ball.”  
        Will shrugged. “I could tell something’s been eating you up this year, I wondered if that’s what it was. If so, I wanted you to know I had your back. If not, well, I probably have your back anyway. Unless it’s Driscoll. That’s all on you.”  
       TJ nodded. “Thanks man. I forget-“ and he paused while he found the right words. “I’m not always the easiest person to be friends with sometimes, I know. But I forget that my friends have my back when I need it off the court too.”  
        Will nodded. “Always.” Then he paused and looked closer at TJ. “A heads up though, if you decide to go public, Mark and Scott will not take it well. They’re pretty hardcore on the religion thing. Scott and I almost got in a fight over it when he heard from his brother about Ethan.”  
        TJs heart sank. “Yeah, I guess I knew about the church thing with them. I wonder who else is going to-“ he trailed off as he realized he’d sort of just admitted to Will he was gay.  
       Will shrugged. “I don’t know. I just knew those two cause they were assholes about it when it came to Ethan. Like he didn’t teach those fuckers how to play ball in the first place.”  
      TJ laughed. It felt good to laugh.  
      “Have you told anyone else?” Will asked curiously.  
       TJ nodded. “My mom.” And he paused before adding “and Driscoll pretty much has it figured it out on her own.”  
       Will smiled. “She’s pretty smart, and maybe because of the Goodman kid she’s so tight with.”  
      TJ, genuinely puzzled asked “Cyrus?”  
      Will nodded. “You guys are friends aren’t you? I haven’t heard it confirmed or anything but the opinion among those who can’t stop talking about other people is that he swings that way. I’d kind of thought that was why you and he had gotten tight.”  
      TJ shook his head, half amazed. “No. I hadn’t even thought he was. He’s just this awesome guy to me. He’s the easiest person in the world to be friends with. He makes me feel like I’m a good guy, and it makes me want to be that guy.“  
      Will smiled. “Oh man, you have it bad for him don’t you? I’ve seen that look on a buddy’s face before. I thought about trying to hook you up with Ethan, but now I can see you’re already taken.”  
       “No! It’s not like that!” TJ exclaimed. “Cyrus doesn’t know-“ he shrugged “-you know.”  
       “That you’re gay.” Will finished.  
       TJ nodded.  
      “You should get used to saying it. Words have power.” Will smiled. “Once you own it, you’re halfway there.”  
      TJ took a deep breathe. “I just, it’s hard to just say it, you know?” He paused. “I’m gay.” He felt he should feel different somehow. But he didn’t.  
      The world didn’t shift. Things didn’t feel anymore settled. But he felt like it might be easier to say the next time he said it. And maybe even easier after that.  
       And that was when his phone dinged to remind him that he had an hour before work.  
       “Ah snap!” He said, “I’ve got work!” He looked at Will. “Thanks for being a friend. I’ve started to realize lately how important it is.”  
       “Anytime my man!” Will stood up as TJ stood up. “Do you want me to have Ethan get a hold of you? To talk, or whatever?”  
      TJ nodded. “Yeah, maybe later this week? I don’t know what his schedule is like at the high school, but i think that would be good.”  
       Will nodded. “I’ll let him know and give him your number.”  
       “Thanks again Will.” TJ said. “For everything.”  
As he walked toward the gym TJ marveled about how much better he felt. Which lasted precisely the 23 minutes it took him to get to the gym on First Avenue, where he suddenly remembered he had plan with Cyrus the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, angsty TJ is over for awhile. I like Will, and I suspect I’m not done with him. My original idea was that Will was going to be the gay one, but I liked this better, a buddy that is just on TJs side.


	5. Walk in the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus, without any of his usual choices for company reaches out to Amber, who gives him information that makes everything (possibly worse) but forces him to act.

      Cyrus was trying hard not to panic. He knew Buffy was off doing something about her crush, Andi wasn’t responding to texts. TJ was not safe at the moment, and besides he had to work that afternoon. 

     He knew Jonah had Ultimate camp, which left him with very few options. He signed and picked up his phone and texted:

 

Cyrus: Hey what are you up to?

Amber: I was about to get a coffee. Want to join? 

Cyrus: sure. Where are you going? 

Amber: the place on First ave. With the chairs outside. About ten min? 

Cyrus: I’ll see you there.

 

      Cyrus spent his walk agonizing over TJ. Cyrus agonized at a pro level, of it was an Olympic sport, he’d be a shoo in. 

      When he got to the coffee house on First he saw that Amber had beaten him there and was already in line to order. He joined her in line with a guilty glance at the adults he slid past who all ignored him.

      “Hey,” he said “thanks for letting me tag along! Buffy is busy and Andi isn’t responding.” 

      She smiled that slightly terrifying smile that always seemed like it was about to bite you. He’d heard of resting bitch face, but she had actually perfected smiling bitch face, which was a category he could respect, even if it was still terrifying.

      “And TJ?” She asked. 

      His heart flip flopped. “He’s- “ Cyrus shrugged, “busy? Plus he has to work this afternoon.” 

      She nodded. “So I’m choice number four. That’s not bad I guess.” 

     Honesty forced him to say “Fifth. Jonah is at Ultimate camp.” He realized after he said it that it sounded awful.

     She smiled again. Still sort of terrifying. “Fifth. Fair enough. Clearly I’ve got my work cut out to get to second place.” Her laugh, unlike her smile was delightful. 

      “I’m sorry.” He said. “I didn’t mean that to sound so... mean.” 

       She put her hand on his arm “Cyrus, nothing personal, but I think you might be incapable of being mean. I bet you don’t even kill bugs.” 

      “Not always true!” He said. And laughed, because he did usually try to capture them and let them go somewhere else.

       They ordered and sat on the patio facing the street and chatted. It felt weird for him to be somewhere other than the Spoon, and with a girl that wasn’t Buffy or Andi, but it was also nice. It felt like an adventure, only the safe kind without bears or hiking or danger.

      He learned that Amber liked some of the strangest things, she had a passion for organizing things, and her love of animals.  Which seemed like odd interests but also sort of fit with her personality. She also talked openly about her fear about not being liked because of her odd interests.

     The longer they sat there, the more he realized he genuinely liked Amber, and not in the way he sort of always half-liked most people, but that he really was enjoying spending time with her. And he was glad he’d reached out to her, even if it had been in a moment of desperation. And he also started to understand why she and Iris got along so well. 

     “Cyrus.” She asked, a clear shift in tone. “Can I ask you a question?” 

     “You just did.” He said with a faint smile.

     She rolled her eyes. “I mean a real question. A serious one.” 

     He nodded and she took a deep breathe. “Are you into boys? You know, like, into them.” 

      He felt like he should have expected it really. Things had been going so well, and she deserved an honest answer. He nodded again.

       She smiled. “I thought so. I’ve seen the way you and TJ look at each other and it doesn’t seem like the way friends look at each other.”

      “TJ and I ARE just friends!” He protested.

       “Does he know that?” She said. “Because it doesn’t seem like it. You guys walk as close together as you can, the way a couple does. It seemed so obvious that you guys were sort of a thing.” 

      He looked at her in horror. 

      “Do other people think that?” He demanded. 

      “Not that I’ve heard.” She said. “But I don’t always hear everything that people are talking about at Jefferson.” 

       He closed his eyes and rested his head on his arm. This day could literally not get any worse. He felt Ambers hand on his. “I won’t say anything, I swear.” She said. “You kept my secrets and I can keep yours.” 

      “Thanks.” He said. “But what if someone else says something to TJ?” 

      “He doesn’t know?” She said in surprise. 

      Cyrus shook his head. “I’ve thought about telling him. But I couldn’t figure out how. And I have no idea how he’s going to respond.” He sighed. “What if he hates me?” 

       She frowned. “I can’t imagine he would. He would take a bullet for you, you can tell. You should tell him though. He shouldn’t get blindsided by this if he hasn’t already.” 

       He nodded, and then Cyrus looked up in time to see TJ crossing the street just a block away, clearly on his way to work.

       “I mean, is that a sign or what?” He said quietly. Amber turned to where he was looking and smiled. 

      “Go get him Cyrus.” She said with the smile that no longer seemed so threatening to him. 

      “Thanks Amber. For everything.” He said as he started to walk away. 

      “Am I fourth best yet?” She said with a smile. 

      He laughed. “It depends on how this goes. If it’s a disaster you’ll stay number five forever.” 

      She laughed. “If its a disaster that would be fair.” 

      As he bolted away she looked over the rim of her almost empty cup and said to herself, “but just between this cup and me I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted Iris to be the character that moved Cyrus to action, but it’s not really her style. But Amber... well, she’s definitely the type to put events in motion.


	6. You Are a Mystery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus talks to TJ and ends up with more questions than answers.

      When the door to the gym opened and TJ looked up Cyrus was both the last person he expected to be there, and the only person it could possibly be. It was like TJ had summoned him with just the power of his near constant presence in his thoughts. 

     “Underdog!” He said. “This is a surprise!” 

     The kids who were used to Cyrus visiting TJ by this point crowded in to get their hellos. After they lost interest and went back to playing, TJ looked at Cyrus, who was clearly avoiding looking at TJ. 

     TJs heart sank. He had thought Buffy wouldn’t say anything, but it looked like that wasn’t the case. 

      “Is everything okay Cyrus?” He finally whispered. 

      “Not really.” Cyrus whispered back. “I- well Amber said something earlier.” 

      Amber? TJ thought in surprise. Not Buffy? 

     “She thinks, well, she thinks people might think we’re more than friends.” Cyrus looked so uncomfortable saying it that TJ just wanted to pull him in and hug him until it was all better. 

      “She does does she?” TJ replied. “Are you worried about what people might think?” 

    “No!” Cyrus said. “But I didn’t want it to make things uncomfortable for you. I’m not sure why she thought people might be thinking that.” 

     TJ reached over and took Cyrus’s hand. “I think you’re amazing Underdog, and I honestly don’t care what anyone wants to think. The only opinion about it I care about is yours.” 

      Cyrus finally looked up at TJ who radiated a calm confidence that Cyrus couldn’t help but envy and who looked so damn happy right then. And the tightness in Cyrus’s chest loosened. He’d forgotten about this superpower of TJs, this ability to replace Cyrus’s worry and anxiety with some of that same confidence. 

     TJ was so happy when Cyrus finally looked up at him. That moment when Cyrus started to smile melted his heart all over again. God how had he missed this before? It was so obvious, and yet 36 hours before he had no clue that he was in love with Cyrus. 

      He mentally chuckled as he let go of Cyrus’s hand, but also moved closer to him. He noticed that Cyrus also stepped in closer to him too. Could it be that Will was right? Was Cyrus gay too? Was it possible he liked TJ? 

      The idea was almost too much. He wanted to turn and just ask him. But the gym was definitely not the place for that conversation. 

      Instead he said “so what do you want to do tomorrow? I don’t work, so I’m pretty much free all day. I think mom is picking the twins up from my Dads house later in the day. But obviously I’m not going.” 

      Cyrus nodded. He wasn’t sure quite why, but he knew a fair chunk of TJs ‘stuff’ related to his father. But details were scarce and he didn’t think TJ was open to questions on the subject. But he did have an idea. A sudden and great idea. “We can go to the cider house!” He said out loud.

      “The one out on Miller road?” TJ asked. 

     “Yes!” Cyrus replied. “They have these doughnuts...” 

    TJ laughed in delight. “I’ve already learned the way to your heart is paved in baked goods Underdog, so a ride out to the Cider House it is. If you like, we can take swimming trunks and stop at the river on the way back?” TJ felt like he might be pushing his luck on this one, Cyrus was not a huge fan of potential danger or exercise,  and this one seemed like both.

     “Do we have to swim?” Cyrus asked cautiously. 

     “Only if you want to Underdog. Or we can just hang out on the shore or wade in the shallow water. It’s your day.” 

     “Then its a date, or a plan, or whatever.” Cyrus said almost glowing. 

     “It’s a date.” TJ echoed. Half in hope, half in fear.  

      Cyrus smiled, but his head was racing, wait did he mean date, or was he just using the term casually? But he wasn’t sure how to ask, and a moment later the kids swarmed back over TJ demanding his attention. 

       TJ laughed in that unguarded way that Cyrus knew so well and said “Alright Underdog, I clearly have to get back to work! Everyone say bye to Cyrus!” 

        A chorus of voices repeated something that may have been “Bye Cyrus” though he was pretty sure he heard a “Bye cider” in there as well. Though that just might be thinking about the cider house. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably should have been part of chapter 5, but I was having a problem nailing the ending (which I still don’t love) so I cut it in half. The next couple of chapters are pretty well fleshed out, so they likely won’t take long to finish up, and you can expect to see them in the next few days.


	7. The Feeling Of Belonging To Your Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus can’t sleep and he and TJ have a text to heart conversation that leads to TJ breaking the law.

 

       Cyrus couldn’t sleep. All he could do was lay there and think about TJ.

      “It’s a date.” TJ had said in that casually confident way he said things.

     But did he mean date-date? There was so much room for things to go wrong in this! What if he was reading too much into it? 

      Finally he sighed and and reached for his phone.

 

10:45 Cyrus: Are you awake?

10:46 TJ: yep, can’t sleep, u? 

10:48 Cyrus: can I ask a question? 

10:49 TJ: always Underdog.

10:50 Cyrus: when you said date, did you mean date-date or like hanging out date? 

10:57 TJ: Would u want it to be a date-date? 

11:03 Cyrus: Would you? 

11:04 TJ: Only if u did.

11:07 Cyrus: Yesyesyes!!!!!!!! 

11:09 Cyrus: I’ve been laying here thinking about that for hours! And I hoped you meant it and I was scared I was reading into it and that I’d screw up our friendship because you are so important to me.

11:10 TJ: I like U so much Underdog. I am so glad U want this 2. 

11:12 Cyrus: When did you know you liked me? 

11:13 Cyrus: (more than as friends.)

11:15 TJ: It took me way longer than it should have. I just hadn’t really thought about it until I did and then it seemed so obv. U?

11:17 Cyrus: I think I first started getting feelings for you at the gym, because that day was so amazing. But I didn’t realize it til yesterday. 

11:19 TJ: I knew I liked u right away. And I felt different abt u as a friend after the swings, but even more after the discalcula thing. Like I could tell u anything and u would make it better somehow. 

11:21 TJ: But yesterday the way u looked at me- like I was really a good guy. And I realized I wanted to be a good guy, for you. 

11:22 Cyrus: so we both wasted so much time:-)

11:23 Cyrus: you ARE a good guy!!! 

11:23 Cyrus: I know it even if you don’t. 

11:24 TJ: I’m trying Cy, I swear. 

11:25 Cyrus: I know. 

11:26 Cyrus: I wish I could see you right now. I want to give you a hug so you would know I believe in you.

11:27 TJ: I can make that happen. I’ll be there in 14 minutes. Meet me on your porch? 

11:29 Cyrus: Wait, are you serious? TJ it’s 11:30! There’s curfew! What if we get caught?!? 

11:30 TJ: I’m not going to get caught. Leaving now. See u in 12 minutes.

11:35 TJ: 7 minutes.

11:39 TJ: at the corner.

11:39 Cyrus: I’m on the porch.

11:40 TJ: I see you.

 

     When TJ walked into the streetlight at the corner Cyrus thought his heart would stop. And then it started to beat extra hard Ba-Dum ba-dum ba-DUM. He walked down the sidewalk like he was supposed to be there. Like he wasn’t breaking all the rules just for Cyrus.

     And then he was there, at the steps leading up to the porch. Cyrus stepped forward as TJ walked up the steps and they came together and melted together into the hug they both needed so much. 

     BA DUM BA DUM BA DUM.

     For TJ it was like all the fear and despair of the last 36 hours had vanished in a moment, and he realized that even when Cyrus had texted him he hadn’t quite believed it was all real. But now? He was sure that it was all worth it. In some way, by some magic somehow, Cyrus was his and he was Cyrus’s. Which made everything worthwhile.

    For Cyrus it was possibly even more transformative. For just a moment, all of the doubt, all of the anxiety he’d always lived with was just gone. It didn’t last, but for just a moment, while TJ held him, it really was all right. Not merely alright, but all, everything, was RIGHT. This was who and where he was meant to be, and he was certain this was who he was meant to be with.

 

      But no hug, no matter how amazing can last forever, and eventually they pulled apart, though TJ kept a soft grip on Cyrus’s hand as they sat on the steps.

      “I can barely believe this is real.” He whispered. “All I have been able to think about is holding your hand and hugging you, and just you.” He smiled the sweet smile that Cyrus always thought of as the real TJ smile. And he lifted Cyrus’s hand up and kissed it softly. And it was at that moment that Cyrus’s dad opened the front door.  

 

 

      Mr Goodman looked like he expected almost anything else but his son to be sitting on the top step getting his hand kissed by TJ Kippen.

     “TJ right?” He said in surprise as he looked at his watch. “Shouldn’t you be at home?” He paused then looked concerned. “Is everything ok at home?” 

      TJ who had met Cyrus’s dad a total of one time in passing, blushed and managed to get out, “everything is fine, Mr Goodman, I just had something I needed to tell Cyrus.” 

      Cyrus’s Dad smiled, “And it couldn’t wait 12 hours til tomorrow?” 

      “No sir, I don’t think it could.” TJ said more firmly. 

      Mr Goodman nodded and replied, “well, I’ll let you finish your conversation then.” And turned back inside and closed the door.

      Cyrus looked at TJ who looked at Cyrus and who was still holding his hand. “There’s no way he missed that is there?” He said. 

       TJ shook his head, “No. I’m pretty sure he couldn’t have missed it. Do you want me to stay? I can go in with you if you’re scared?” 

       Cyrus shook his head. “No, I wish you could, but I think I need to handle this on my own. I’ll text you after?” 

      TJ nodded and squeezed his hand. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. But yes, text me.” 

      “Do your parents know?” Cyrus asked. 

     TJ nodded again. “Well, my mom knows. My dad is in  LA with his new girlfriend, and I haven’t talked to him in months.” 

      Cyrus had known TJs parents were divorced, but TJ didn’t talk about his dad much, so this was new to him. 

       “I guess I should go talk to him.” Cyrus said. “Can I- I mean, can we?” He gestured with his free hand. “Another one?” He finished.

      TJ smiled that incandescent smile again. “Anytime you want. I am your personal hug machine.” 

      Cyrus giggled as TJ pulled him close again. And again that remarkable magic worked. Everything just fell away, and there was only TJ there with him. 

      After a few minutes they separated and they stood up. Cyrus let go of TJs hand and said “I’ll text you soon.” 

      “I’ll be waiting Underdog.” TJ said and watched as Cyrus walked into his house. 

 

     Cyrus’s dad was sitting in the living room looking very relaxed when Cyrus walked in. He looked at his son and asked “Do you want to talk about it?” 

     “Can I talk to Dad-you and not psychiatrist-you?” Cyrus said.

     Mr Goodman smiled, “Of course. You know I love you right Cyrus? And that this doesn’t change anything about that?” 

     Cyrus wanted to weep with relief. “I wasn’t sure.” He whispered. 

      “Cy, I want you to be the best you and the happiest you, that you can be. And if that you is getting kissed on the front steps at midnight by TJ, then that’s the you I will always love.” Mr Goodman smiled and stood up and crossed over to where Cyrus stood to hug him. 

      “Thanks Dad.” Cyrus whispered.

     “I do feel like I should say something about hanging around on the porch at 12 in the morning though. What was so important that he needed to come see you at midnight?” 

      Cyrus stammered, “Well, I didn’t know he liked me, and we were texting and I said ‘I wish I could hug you right now’, and he said, ‘I’ll be there in 14 minutes’ and then he was!” 

      Mr Goodman laughed, “So he broke curfew, snuck out of his house, walked 14 minutes across town, to give you a hug?” 

     Cyrus nodded. 

     “Cy, this ones a keeper.” 

      “Do you think so?” Cyrus said. 

      Mr Goodman nodded. “I do think so. But maybe don’t make a habit of it. There’s plenty of daylight hours for meeting up.” 

       Cyrus nodded. “This was a special thing. Just once!” 

       “Just once.” Mr Goodman nodded. “Do you want me to tell your mothers? Or do you want to?” 

      Cyrus froze. “I don’t know, what do you think I should do?” He said quietly.

      “That’s up to you to decide Cy. They love you, and will love you no differently once they know. But how you tell them is your choice. I’m willing to help if you want, but I won’t make your choice for you.” 

     “I’ll tell them then.” Cyrus decided. “It should come from me.” 

       His dad nodded. “Then I’ll leave it to you to find your time.” He paused, “I wouldn’t wait too long, you’re not very good at being sneaky and I suspect TJ will be around more.” 

       Cyrus blushed and nodded. 

       “Good night son.” Mr Goodman said with a last hug. “Time to go to bed.” 

 

1235am Cyrus: We talked, he’s good. Leaving it to me to tell my moms and step dad. 

1236am TJ: That’s great! I’m pretty sure my dad won’t be so cool. 

1237am Cyrus: Do you want to talk about it?

1238am TJ: Not tonight. 

1239am TJ: I’m glad I came over. That hug was exactly what I needed. You’re amazing Underdog! 

1241am Cyrus: Are you kidding, you’re amazing! My dad was super impressed that you snuck out of the house to come give me a hug! He says you’re a keeper! 

1242am Cyrus: (I already knew that though.)

1242am TJ: He said that?!? U told him?!? 

1243am Cyrus: He asked why you were there, and so I explained. 

1245am TJ: I’m just teasing UD, but I’m so glad he’s cool. 

1246am Cyrus: Me too. I don’t know how I’m ever going to sleep! 

1247am TJ: Not me, I feel like I could sleep for 3 days. And I’ll still see you at 10 right? 

1248am Cyrus: I’ll be ready! Good night Not-Scary-At-All-Basketball-Guy. 

1249am TJ: Good night Underdog. Thanks for the best hug ever! 

1250am Cyrus: Wait, Which one was the best one, the first one of the second one?

1252am TJ: That’s for me to know. I’ll let you know when we’ve beat the current record holder though. 

1253am Cyrus: Tttttttjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj!!!!!!!!!!!

1254am TJ: Good night UD! 

 

     Cyrus thought he’d never sleep. When he lay down he just kept replaying that moment when TJ first hugged him, that feeling of being safe, and how right the world felt. And the weight of TJs lips as they softly kissed his hand. And within minutes he was asleep. 

       Meanwhile, just a short fourteen minute walk away, TJ was replaying those same moments. And it is hard to say which of them fell asleep fastest. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much trouble getting Cy’s Dad right, and I’m still not sure how I did.


	8. Say It Loud, Say It Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus realizes he needs to tell the GHC about TJ and comes out to his stepmom.

 

 

 

 

      Cyrus woke up at 7am in a panic. 

       This was not unusual.

       His first thought was: Buffy! Andi! TJ! He had to tell them! Buffy would be fine, had been fine when he told her about his crush, but Andi still held a grudge against TJ for how he’d treated Buffy for so long. She would be polite in person, but he didn’t think she was going to be thrilled with this state of things.

         He grabbed his phone and texted Buffy, who was more likely to be awake early to go running. 

 

7:03 Cyrus: Are you awake yet? 

7:05 Buffy:  why are you awake? I’m about to go for a run. Is this about TJ? 

7:06 Cyrus: YOU KNOW?!?

7:07 Buffy: Cy, we talked about it yesterday! 

 

      Cyrus felt foolish. He was so caught up in his own head he hadn’t realized what Buffy meant. 

 

7:09 Cyrus: there’s been a development.

7:10 Cyrus: TJ and I talked.

7:10 Buffy: WHAT DEVELOPMENT?!?

7:11 Cyrus: I’m trying to tell you! 

7:11 Buffy: If he hurt you I will end him! 

7:12 Buffy: what happened?!? What did that idiot say?

7:13 Cyrus: So after you left to go see whoever. I went and hung out with Amber. 

7:14 Buffy: What does this have to do with TJ?

7:15 Cyrus: I’m getting there. 

7:16 Cyrus: And She thought TJ and I WERE a couple, so I went to see him to let him know that other people might be thinking the same thing.

7:17 Cyrus: And we talked and he told me he didn’t care what anybody thought except for me.

7:18 Buffy: Well thats a good sign. I thought he’d said something awful. 

7:19 Buffy: Wait, did he say anything else? 

7:20 Cyrus: No we just talked about Amber and then about our plans for today. But then we were texting later. 

7:22 Buffy: He didn’t mention me did he? 

7:23 Cyrus: And then he ended up coming over and we talked and everything is great and he likes me too!!! 

7:24 Cyrus: Wait why would he say something about you? 

7:25 Buffy: I may have run into him after I left the Spoon, and I asked him if he liked you as more than a friend. I didn’t say anything about you liking him!!

7:26 Cyrus: BUFFY!!!! How could you? You promised!!!

7:27 Buffy: No, I promised not to say anything to him about your feelings, and I didn’t. I asked him about his. I didn’t promise anything about that.

 

      Cyrus rolled his eyes and this totally Buffy logic. 

 

7:28 Cyrus: Well he does.

7:29 Cyrus: Like me that is. 

7:30 Buffy: THATS SO AWESOME!!!!!

7:31 Buffy: Seriously Cy, I am super happy for you! 

7:32 Cyrus: But now I have to tell Andi! She hates TJ still! 

7:33 Buffy: True, well maybe not hates. But she’s not his biggest fan. 

7:34 Buffy: But she loves you, and if he will make you happy she’ll support you guys. Unless he starts being a jerk, and then she’ll let me beat him up. 

 

       Cyrus laughed, his anxiety eased a bit. 

 

7:35 Cyrus: Are you sure? 

7:36 Buffy: Yes, but if you want I’ll meet you at Bex’s around 9 if you want me to be there when you tell her? 

7:37 Cyrus: Please? 

7:38 Buffy: You’ve got it! Now I’m going running! 

 

      Cyrus smiled again. Then texted TJ. 

 

7:40 Cyrus: So this morning can we possibly do a little later than 10? 

7:41 TJ: Sure, but u don’t really need 3 hours to get ready do u? 

7:42 Cyrus: I mean, I want to look my best for you.

7:43 Cyrus: But no. Buffy and I are going to meet Andi and tell her about us. Buffy is fine with it. And how did you not tell me she talked to you yesterday about if you liked me? 

7:44 TJ: lol. I was kidding UD. u can take all the time u need. Do you want me to go with u too? 

7:46 TJ: I was a little preoccupied, and I wasn’t in a good headspace when I talked to her. But after that my buddy Will and I talked. Then I saw u at the gym. And then last night. 

7:46 Cyrus: No, but I may need to eat my feelings after if she isn’t ok with us. The Spoon around 10:30 or 11? I’ll text you when we’re leaving Andi’s? 

7:47 TJ: Sounds good UD. I can’t wait to see u! 

 

        Cyrus slid his phone into his jeans as he stood up and walked out of his room. Downstairs in the kitchen his stepmom Sharon was starting to pull stuff out to make breakfast. 

       “Your Dad just ran to the store for a few things. Did you sleep well? You’re up and ready early.” 

       Cyrus nodded. “Yes, I was just excited for today.” 

      Sharon nodded. “Are you meeting Buffy and Andi for something?” 

      He nodded again. “Yes, and then TJ and I are going-“ He paused. “Actually I’m not sure where we are going. We had talked about maybe to Smithson Park, and the cider house over by there. I’ll definitely let you know where we’re going once we’ve settled on something.” 

      She nodded and took a drink of her coffee.

      “Can I ask you something? Something serious?” He asked quietly. 

      “Of course Cy.” She said. “What’s up?” 

      “Would you be ok with it if TJ and I were going on a date today?” 

      “Is this a date today with TJ?” She asked. “Or is this a more general kind of question.” 

      He nodded. “Yes. It is.” 

      “Honey, of course I’m ok with it! And I’m sure your dad will be too.” 

      “Dad sort of already knows.” He said. “He found TJ and I talking on the porch last night and we talked and I told him I wanted to tell you myself.” 

      She blinked. “Well I’m glad you told me. How long have you liked TJ?” 

     TJ had only visited a few times before but his parents had seemed to like him, though they weren’t aware of TJs somewhat problematic history. “I think I’ve liked him for awhile. But I didn’t realize it until the other day. Which is also when he realized it. And then we talked yesterday. And it all just sort of happened.” Cyruses words tumbled over each other in a hurry to get out. 

      Sharon smiled. “Well, try to take things slow and make sure you have good communication. It’s the key to a good relationship.” 

      Cyrus squinted at her, “did I just get relationship counseled?” He asked. 

      She laughed. “No, this was just mom advice to get you started so you don’t develop bad habits.” She smiled at Cyrus. “Thank you for trusting me to tell me about TJ though. And what would you like with your eggs?” 

       He laughed relieved that it had gone as easy as his dad had said. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel a little silly, I was trying to write what comes after this part and the next one, and I realized that there was something that has to happen before Cy and TJ can go on their date. So I backtracked and wrote this in about an hour or so. Finally writing that went fast again!
> 
> Also: edited to correct Sharon’s name. Oops!


	9. A Heartbeat Drives You Mad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy and Cyrus meet up with Andi to let her know about TJ. Cyrus comes out to someone unexpected.

      At 850 Cyrus was standing on the street corner near Andi’s waiting for Buffy. His dad and stepmom had ushered him out the door once he explained why he was leaving so early in the morning, without explaining that Andi might have a good reason for her ambivalent feelings towards TJ. 

      Buffy came around the corner and saw Cyrus and instantly smiled. When she got to him she gave him a huge hug and said “I can’t believe you and TJ worked it out without intervention!”

      Cyrus laughed. “You make us sound like a disaster waiting to happen!”

      “You and TJ Kippen?” She nodded. “Yeah, that’s a recipe for failure to communicate your feelings. But seriously Cy, I think Andi will be ok, just be calm and don’t panic.” 

      “What is this ‘don’t panic’ you speak of? Have you met me?” He quipped.

      They started walking up the steps to Andi’s moms apartment and knocked when they got to the door. Bex opened it.

      Her eyes widened a bit. “This is a surprise visit, I assume?” She asked. 

      “Of a sort.” Buffy said. “Is she awake yet?” 

      “Is this round two of yesterday’s conversation?” Bex replied. 

      Buffy glanced at Cyrus and then nodded. 

      “What conversation?” Cyrus demanded. 

      “I’m curious myself.” Bex replied. “I’m pretty sure no ones going to tell me though.”

      “I can’t deal with that kind of added pressure today,” Cyrus admitted. “So probably no.” 

      Bex laughed. “Alright, how bout I get out of your hair while you all talk. Do you think 30 minutes is long enough?” 

      Cyrus grimaced, “it’s either long enough or there will never be enough time, depending.” 

     They exchanged places with Bex, and wandered towards Andi’s room. Buffy knocked on the door and opened it when Andi said to.

      “Buffy? Cyrus? What are you guys doing here this early.” Andi said.

      “Cyrus needed to talk to you, and I’m here for company.” Buffy said.

       Cyrus looked petrified and couldn’t speak. 

      Buffy sighed. “Say hi to Andi Cyrus.”

      “Andi, hi!” Cyrus chirped. 

      “Cyrus, what’s going on?” Andi said. “I’m a little nervous here.” 

      “So, Andi, you know how TJ and I are friends, and how you aren’t really very fond of him?” Cyrus began.

        Buffy shook her head. “Stop.” She said. “This is going to be a disaster if I let you do it.” 

      Buffy took a deep breathe. “What Cyrus is trying to say is he knows you’re not TJs biggest fan, but he’s hoping you’ll try to give TJ a second chance, because they’re going to be dating.” 

      “Don’t you mean like a tenth chance?” Andi replied.

      “Well, maybe.” Cyrus said. “But are you mad, about TJ and I?” 

       Andi’s skeptical look melted into a grin. “I might be mystified and have no idea what you see in him,” She said, “but I am definitely not mad. But when did this happen?”

      Cyrus breathed out in relief. “Last night.” He paused. “I went to see TJ at work...” He paused, “well...” He paused again. “It’s starts back with TJ apologizing to Buffy. He was just so adorable, and ridiculous and it was perfect! And I watched him walk away, and he glanced back, and my heart just was like ‘BA DUM BA DUM BA DUM’ and I realized that at some point my feelings for TJ had changed into something else, and then Buffy made me admit yesterday that I had caught feelings for him, which was fine, but then she abandoned me, and so I went to hang out with Amber, who thought TJ and I were already a couple, and when I was all ‘nope just friends’ so I went to talk to TJ and he said he didn’t care what anyone else thought, as long as I didn’t mind, and I didn’t mind, so we made plans to hang out today, and he said ‘it’s a date’ but I wasn’t sure if he meant date-date or just hang out date, so I texted to ask, and then we talked about having feelings for each other, and then he came over at midnight, and we hugged and talked on my porch, but my dad came outside when he was kissing my hand and then I had to tell my dad I was gay, but he thinks TJ is great, and then I sort of came out to Sharon this morning.” He paused. “I think that’s everything.” 

       Andi looked at Buffy, “was that all one sentence?” 

       “Two I think,” Buffy replied.

       “Impressive.” Andi said.

        “You came out to your dad and Sharon.” Buffy said looking at Cyrus. “That’s huge! They’re ok with it I’m guessing?” 

        Cyrus nodded. “My dad...” He started to tear up a bit, “He said he just wanted the best and happiest me possible.i didn’t know is I was going to tell him, but then it was so easy. And then Sharon this morning was great.”

      The girls gathered Cyrus up for an awesome threeway hug, as they whispered their pride in him in his ears. 

      “I’m so glad you guys are ok with TJ,” He said. “This would be horrible if you weren’t.” 

       “I don’t pretend to see what you see in him,” Andi said, “but I can see he is different around you than anyone else.” 

        “You’ve made him a human being.” Buffy said. “Instead of a walking jerk.”

       Cyrus shook his head. “I didn’t do anything, that was all TJ. I didn’t tell him he had to change, or how to be. He did all that on his own. That’s what I’ve been trying to get you guys to see, I didn’t change him, he changed himself.” 

        Buffy smiled, “For you though. I think he changed because he wanted to be the kind of person you could love.” 

        Cyrus paused. “So does that mean you think this is all some kind of act or something on his part?” 

        She shook her head, “no, I just think knowing you, and wanting to be liked by you brought out a side of him that we hadn’t seen. And I’ll be honest, I do like what I’ve seen of this new TJ.” 

       Andi nodded. “I hope this new TJ is real, for you, because you deserve someone who’s as amazing as you Cy!” 

        Just then they heard the front door open, “cocoa.” Bex said, “I have cocoa and doughnuts!” 

        The three friends laughed and went out to the kitchen. 

        As they ate doughnuts and drank cocoa, Bex said “so am I going to get to find out what all the mystery is?” 

        Andi looked and Cyrus, who in turn looked and Buffy, who shrugged and looked at Andi who also shrugged and both girls looked back at Cyrus.

        Cyrus took a deep breathe and said “There’s a boy I like who likes me too. And I needed to make sure Andi approved.” 

       Bex was quiet for a moment and then said “so girls, is he good enough for our Cyrus?” 

       Buffy smiled and Andi replied, “No, but who could be?” 

       Buffy added, “and he’s certainly trying his hardest to be.”  

 

       

      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bex intrudes on this story oddly. I think because she straddles that line of being both a kid and a mom. There’s at least one other scene I know she’ll be in, but she’s fun to write, so I may add more. We’ll see where the story wanders on it’s way.


	10. My Heart is On My Sleeve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally. It’s date-time.

 

 10:05 Cyrus: On my way, everything’s good! Take your time!

10:06 TJ: Awesome! I’m already here! I’ll order you bb taters and a milkshake to celebrate?

10:07 Cyrus: Perfect! 

 

      “You don’t have to walk me all the way there Buffy.” Cyrus said.

      “I have something I need to say to TJ,” Buffy said, “about yesterday.” 

       “Just don’t scare him off.” Cyrus grouched back.

       “Cy, I’m just going to clear the air. I want him to know I’m really on board with this.” 

       “And you won’t threaten to beat him up if something goes wrong?” Cyrus replied.

       “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m totally going to let him know I’ll kill him if he hurts you. What else are best friends for?” She snapped back at him.

        “I can’t wait til you get a boyfriend Buffy so I can repay this torment.” Cyrus said with a laugh.

       “You’ll appreciate me one of these days Goodman.” Buffy said, “and here we are.” She finished as they slipped through the door of the Spoon.

       TJ looked up with a flash of surprise when he saw Buffy, and then he saw Cyrus behind her and his face bloomed into a smile.

        “I’m not staying.” Buffy said “but I wanted to talk to you for a minute before I go, can we step outside?” 

       TJ nodded, and stood up, he and Cyrus gripped hands in passing as they changed places and Cyrus sat down.

        They stepped outside within view of the windows, but where no one could easily hear.

        “TJ, about yesterday-“ 

         He stopped her “Buffy, I appreciate what you did. Really. I-“ He paused. “I wasn’t ready to talk about it because I was still processing. But it did help to know you were in my corner.”  He grinned, “well, probably Cyrus’s corner, but I’ll take what I can get.” 

        She smiled. “TJ, your corner is Cyruses corner now. That’s what I wanted to say. I wouldn’t have picked you for Cy, but I can see you care for him. And he likes you too. As long as your side is his side I will always have your back.” She paused. “And if you hurt him, I’ll kill you.” 

       He grinned, a tear hovering in the corner of his eye, “if I hurt him I’ll let you. He’s so-“ He paused while he looked for the right words “-special. He just sees me and I’m not ‘scary basketball guy’. I’ve been so angry these last couple of years, and he just slips passed all of that and makes me feel like I’m good enough. Better, like I’m more than enough. I want to be the guy he sees me as, does that make sense?” 

      She nodded. “Yes. And I know exactly what you mean, it’s like his super power you know? To see each of us as the best version of who we can be. It’s on us to be that person though.” 

       He smiled “I’m trying, I’m really really trying.” 

       “Then get in there!” She said with a laugh. “I just wanted you to know we are good. Really and for real. He deserves to be happy.” 

        He nodded. “I’ll do my best.” He whispered. 

        TJ sat back in the booth next to Cyrus. 

        “She didn’t threaten you did she?” Cyrus said. “I told her not to.” 

        TJs grin got bigger. “Relax underdog, she just wanted to make sure I knew she really supported this. Us.” 

       Cyrus slipped his hand under the table and found TJs hand already waiting to be held. A burst of pure joy exploded in his heart. Everything was perfect. He knew the day would be amazing. 

 

      “So your dad.” TJ finally said.

     “Yep.” Cyrus said. “Two down, two to go.” He smiled at TJ ”I told my stepmom at breakfast.”

      “Do you think there will be any issues?” TJ added.

      “Not really.” Cyrus replied. “My Dad didn’t seem to think there would be. And he trusted me to tell them which I don’t think he’d do if he thought there would be a problem. Now it’s just the TELLING them.” 

     “Fortunately you’re the one that likes a plan.” TJ said with a smile. 

     “That’s a fair point. Though so far none of this has been according to a plan. ” Cyrus said. Then he looked at TJ, “your parents?” 

     TJ sighed and looked away. “My mom already knows. I told her the other night. My dad though...” He shook his head. “It’s no big deal, I don’t see him, and anyway he’s in California a lot of the time now with Susan.” 

      “His girlfriend?” Cyrus asked. 

      TJ nodded. “Yeah, she was an medical resident at the hospital here and they met and he left my mom. When they divorced, the judge asked me what I wanted, and I told him to never see my dad again. So far I haven’t.” 

       “Wow. TJ I had no idea.” Cyrus gripped his had a little tighter under the table and TJ squeezed back. “And you don’t think your dad is going to be ok if he finds out?” 

       TJ just looked at Cyrus, realizing Cyrus had never put two and two together. “Cyrus, my dad is Thomas Kippen, the congressman.” 

        Cyrus’s eyes widened. “Ooooooh. I had no idea.” He whispered. 

      “I’d guessed that Underdog.” TJ replied. “But you can guess how my dads going to respond.”

      Cyrus nodded. Thomas Kippen was incredibly anti-gay, and had sponsored some of the most regressive legislation the state had known. 

       Cyrus’s eyes narrowed, “So the ‘TJ’?”

      TJ rolled his eyes “Thomas James the second. Trust my dad to want to put his name all over me. I quit answering to it in third grade. Can we talk about anything but my dad now?” 

       Cyrus nodded. “Sorry, it’s just the first time we’ve talked about him. I knew you had ‘stuff’ about him, but I didn’t know what it was.” 

       TJ laughed humorlessly, “That’s not even the beginning of my stuff about him. He’s the worst, and we’ll leave it at that.” 

        “And your mom?” Cyrus asked. “What’s she like?” 

        “My mom is great. She wants to meet you.” TJ said. 

     Cyrus’s eyes widened. “She knows about me?” 

      TJ smiled, that lighting up his face smile “yeah I told her over breakfast. I had given her the angsty half the other night, so I figured I should explain a little more about what had brought this all up. So I told her about you. She seemed-“ he shrugged. “relieved maybe? I think I worried her, I was  kind of a mess.” 

       Cyrus quirked a grin “I can’t imagine you being a mess. You’re always so confident.” 

       TJ grinned. “Just you wait. I’m going to start to be so indecisive you’ll wonder who I am! Seriously though, I think you’re confusing impulsive and confident.” 

       Cyrus laughed. “And fearless. My not so scary guy is fearless.” 

       TJ shook his head. “I’m definitely not fearless. I was so afraid the other night when I realized how I felt. I was afraid you’d figure it out and hate me. I was afraid-“ He shook his head. “I was afraid I was all the things my dad says. Before you I didn’t really even realize I was into guys at all. I just thought I hadn’t met a girl that really clicked for me. Once I started putting things together, well, a lot of my stuff started to make sense.” 

        “Does it bother you?” Cyrus asked. “For me it’s just seemed like it cut me off from the normal things that everyone else was having. My first crush-“ He shook his head, “-well, it was sort of a disaster.” 

        “Do you mind if I ask who it was?” TJ said almost shyly. “I’m just curious, not jealous I swear.” 

       Cyrus blushed and tightened his grip on TJs hand. “There’s nothing to be jealous of, I promise. It was Jonah. But once I got to know him, while I still liked him, I didn’t LIKE him anymore. It was sort of the opposite of my feelings for you. The more I got to know you, the more I liked you, until suddenly I realized I LIKED you.” 

       TJ nodded. “I was the same way, I think. I liked you immediately. I liked talking to you, and I liked being around you. But the crushing on you, it happened so gradually I didn’t realize it, until suddenly I did.” 

         “As to your first question, I don’t know if it bothered me. I mean, I was upset and scared. But it wasn’t because my feelings were for you, cause I think that’s the best part of it. But just, you know, it wasn’t what I’d always expected. And after the discalculia thing, and my parents, and my dad just being my dad, I just kind of panicked.”

      “ But now? No. The only people who’s opinions I really care about are you and my mom. I hope my friends are ok with it, but I’m not going to not be who I am because it upsets someone else. I’m not interested in hiding. The discalculia taught me that there’s nothing to fear in being who I am.” He paused.

      “I’m not saying we have to be public about us, because I’m not going to force you into anything you’re not comfortable with. I just want you to know that if we decide to keep this a secret or to tell everyone is up to you.  I want you to pick what you’re comfortable with.” 

        Cyrus sat stunned and quiet. He’d assumed TJ would want to be discreet about dating him. The idea of walking down the hall with TJ holding hands both intrigued and terrified him. 

        TJ sat watching him with a patient look on his face. “You don’t have to decide today either. We can be quiet about it til you decide you’re ready, or decide you want to stay quiet. I want you to be comfortable whichever way we decide to go.” 

        Cyrus nodded. “Let’s do that. I’m so glad I’m with you, but to have people looking and watching, I don’t know how to handle that. I’m not used to being the center of attention.” He added with a laugh.

        TJ hasn’t thought about that part actually. Cyrus had his little group of friends and tended to stick to it. TJ was someone who was used to being the center of whatever group he found himself in, even if they weren’t people he knew well. 

      “Whatever you decide Underdog.” He said. “Do you still want to go to the park today, or is there something else you’d rather do?” 

       “It’s a nice day for it,” Cyrus said, but TJ could hear a ‘but’ just waiting to come out. 

       “Butttttt, what would you rather do?” TJ asked with a smile. “I don’t care what we do, I want to spend the day with you, we can learn to play chess or something for all I care.” 

       “I already know how to play chess.” Cyrus said. “But I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go see the latest ‘Jurassic Park’ movie?” 

       “Sounds like fun!” TJ said with enthusiasm. 

      “Are you sure?” Cyrus added doubtfully.

      “Cy, anything with you is what I want to do today, and the trailers look awesome!” TJ gripped Cyrus’s hand tighter in a momentary squeeze. 

       Cyrus’s smile was incandescent. TJ knew he was the luckiest guy in the world right then, because he was with Cyrus.  Nothing else mattered.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been trying to figure out for awhile what combination of factors would result in TJ being TJ. And the discalculia and being challenged by Buffy who excels at everything including basketball, is only part of it, to me. But having a truly awful father... yeah, that could do it. And just to clarify, this isn’t projection, my dads response to my coming out was much closer to Cyrus’s Dad. But I’ve known friends who’s parents were much closer to TJs father.


	11. It Doesn’t Matter What They Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alliances form when Tyrus goes public much sooner than planned.

 

        They got their tickets and walked into the theater and started trying to decide where to sit. TJ wanted to bring that sweet zone about a third of the way back in the middle where the screen filled your sight and you were immersed in the movie completely. Cyrus voted for the back row and Cyrus won cause TJ would refuse him nothing. 

        They say in the middle of the row and TJ immediately kicked his feet up on the back of the seat in front of him, and Cyrus relaxed against TJ, who nestled into him as well. After a moment TJ stretched his arm around Cyrus and draped it over his shoulders bringing them even closer into contact.

        TJ still marveled that he had gotten so lucky that Cyrus liked him back, and Cyrus flowed with happiness that TJ was with him. After the disaster of his unrequited crush on Jonah it was amazing that this was all happening. 

       They chatted and giggled while they waited for the previews to start, a few other people coming in and finding their seats as well, but no one paying them too much attention. 

       From near the front of the theater someone got up and started walking back to go to the bathroom before the movie, but the two Boyd were too into each other to be paying attention to what was going on around them. 

      “Kippen?” A voice broke into their fog of preoccupation. 

       TJ looked up. It was Scott Miller from his team, his thoughts flashed back to his conversation with Will from the day before, and he glanced at Cyrus who was cuddled in the circle of his arm, it was clearly obvious to the other boy what was going on.

       “Hey Miller, how’s it going?” TJ said. Deciding to play it cool. Slipping back into Old TJs emotional armor toward the world. 

         Scott was glancing obviously back and forth, trying to come up with any explanation besides the obvious one for what he was seeing. “So you’re uh, here to see the movie?” He asked, finally placing Cyrus as one of Driscoll’s friends. 

      “Yeah, I heard the dinosaurs were awesome, and Cy loves dinosaurs so here we are.” TJ said. 

      Scott nodded. “That’s cool, I’m just headed out to the lobby before it starts.” He knew he sounded lame, but there was no way to just ask what he was thinking. Kippen was not the guy you wanted to start trouble with.

      “Enjoy the movie.” TJ replied. 

     “Yeah, you too.” Scott answered. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” 

      “Later.” TJ said, and turned back to Cyrus as Scott walked away.

       “That was not what I expected.” TJ said. “You hadn’t even decided if you wanted this to be public.” 

       Cyrus replied, “You said you didn’t mind.” 

       “I don’t mind. But you hadn’t made a decision yet, and that just got taken out of our hands. It’s going to be known by the time we get to school tomorrow.” TJ said. 

       “I guess I should probably tell my mom and stepdad tonight then.” Cyrus said. “And Jonah. I need to tell Jonah.” He looked at TJ. “Is there any of your friends you want to tell before the news gets out?” 

       TJ shrugged. He wasn’t the kind of guy who had close friends. He had teammates, and people he hung out with to race bikes. But real friends had always eluded him somehow. “Maybe some of the guys from the team.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and thumbed past its security. He quickly assembled a text group of Will and a few of the guys he felt reasonably close to, and sent a quick message:

 2:11pm TJ: So just a heads up since it’s probably about to be a thing, I’m seeing someone, and it’s a dude, and if you have an issue with it, I don’t really care. Just didn’t want it to be a surprise to you when you hear.

 

       He glanced at it, it seemed to say what he wanted it to, and he showed it to Cyrus who giggled at its complete TJness and he pressed send. 

       “You really don’t care who knows?” Cyrus said still trying to grasp this essential part of TJs personality. 

      “The only people who’s opinion really matters are yours and mine.” He shrugged. “And I guess Driscoll and Andi since they’re so important to you. But no ones opinion matters to me besides that.” 

        Cyrus marveled at this statement so different from his own outlook. He did care, and he was terrified about what tomorrow was going to be like. But he also knew that TJ was right, theirs were the only opinions that counted in this. 

      Meanwhile, Scott had pulled his phone out of his pocket and immediately texted Isaac and Mark, his two closest friends who went to the same church with him.

 

2:10pm Scott:  Dudes, I just saw Kippen in the theater with a date, and you will never believe this but I swear it’s true, his date is a guy! 

2:11pm Isaac: whut?! Shut up! For real?! You’re sure it’s him?!?

2:12pm Mark: Kippen as in TJ?!! Our team captain? Stop jerking my chain! 

2:14pm Scott: I’m not messing with you! It was Kippen. I stopped and we talked. Totally cuddled up with that nerdy friend of Driscolls who comes to the games.

2:15pm Scott: NO WAY! 

2:16pm Isaac: No clue who you’re talking about. I thought Driscolls friend was the chick with dark hair and the killer smile. Dating one of the frisbee guys.

2:17pm Mark: If you’d come to a game now and then you’d have seen him. Shows up and is super loud, though I don’t think he understands the game very well. A plus on enthusiasm though.

2:18pm Scott: And now we know why, he was after the captain. Looks like he got him too. Faggots, ugh.

2:20pm Isaac: I doubt he brainwashed Kippen into being homo, must have been one all along. Did you never catch him checking you out in the shower? 

2:23pm Mark: No, but I’ve been keeping my eye on Will since we know his brothers a fag now. Figured he was too probably. I didn’t even think about Kippen. 

 

      The conversation continued on until Scott realized he needed to get back to the theater before the movie started. 

       Meanwhile in TJs pocket, ignored while TJ and Cyrus talked about their strategy, a different conversation was going on.

 

2:12pm Will: Wait, what did I miss? 

2:13pm Adam: Kippen, is this some kind of joke? I don’t get it. 

2:14pm Tyson: Fer reals bro? 

2:17pm Tyson: Kippen? 

2:18pm Will: Apparently we don’t get any other answers. Lol. 

2:19pm Tyson: Probably busy on a date:-) 

2:20pm Adam: So this isn’t a joke? 

2:21pm Will: I’m guessing not. Kippen isn’t really known for his jokes. 

2:22pm Tyson: No, just his jump shot!

2:23pm Will: Swoosh! 

2:24pm Adam: Am I the only one confused here? 

2:26pm Tyson: Not confused, apparently Kippen finally found someone willing to put up with his ego and attitude. Lol. 

2:27pm Will: You see Adam, sometimes when a boy and a boy like each other, they want to kiss and hold hands and stuff. If you want you can google ‘boys kissing’ to learn more. Way way more.

2:29pm Adam: Very funny. I mean, I don’t have a problem with gay people, but Kippen isn’t gay is he? 

2:30pm Will: Apparently he is. You’re ok with that right?

2:31pm Tyson: No worries for me. Less competition in the dating pool! I’m all for it. Will, why don’t you take your dimples and get yourself a bf too, they’re hard to compete with!

2:32pm Adam: No, I mean, no problems it just a surprise is all. I just assumed he was straight. 

2:33pm Skylar: Jesus dudes, you’re blowing up my phone! What’s going on? 

2:34pm Will: read the history and catch up bro! Kippen is off the market. 

2:36pm Skylar: So? I don’t care. Text me if it affects the team. 

            Skylar has left the conversation 

2:37pm Adam: I mean, I guess that makes sense, I’m not sure why Kippen decided to text us this. 

2:38pm Will: I’m guessing that someone on the team found out he’s dating a dude, and he decided we deserved a heads up. 

2:39pm Tyson: Who would care? Oh snap, Mark has a huge issue with the gays doesn’t he? 

2:41pm Will: And Scott. He’s definitely not going to be a fan either.

2:43pm Tyson: Oh yeah, I heard you guys almost got into it when your brother came out. 

2:44pm Adam: Wait, your brother Ethan? He’s gay too?! How did I not know this? 

2:46pm Will: Yeah, Scott had a huge problem with it. This will probably be worse, TJ is on our team. 

2:47pm Adam: Scott can jump off a bridge and fuck off. Kippen is ten times the player he is, and I don’t care if he’s got a bf. Tyson is right, makes more space for us! 

2:49pm Will: He’s probably gonna need some friends in his corner over this. You know Scott’s Dad will be on the coach about this. 

2:51pm Tyson: True, that dude is wacked.  I heard he and Kippens Dad are super tight. 

2:52pm Adam: Oh man, I didn’t even think about Kippens Dad, dude is going to come undone. 

2:53pm Tyson: Kippen, does your old man know you have a bf? 

2:59pm Will: Still no response. I think we’re being ignored.

3:00pm Tyson: Typical Kippen to send one text and no follow up. 

3:26pm Zach: Holy crap! Kippen has a bf?!? Damn, did not see that one coming! Also, you guys text as much as my sisters. Damn! 

3:32pm Zach: Just got a call from Mark asking if I’d heard Kippen ‘was a homo’, I said ‘yeah, old news’. lol. I love jerking that idiots chain. 

3:33pm Adam: Damn, he must be calling everyone on the team, he just called me too, and Miles texted me asking if I knew anything about this. 

3:34pm Will: Zach you’re cool with this? 

3:35pm Zach: /shrug/ 

3:36pm Zach: I don’t really care who Kippen dates, if he’s cool I’m cool. Plus Mark is a pain in the ass. #TeamKippen

            Adam added Miles to the group

3:37pm Miles: Hot damn, Kippen you lit a fire under Mark! He said Scott saw you with some friend of Driscolls at the movies? Mark thinks you’ll be gay-married by tomorrow! Lol. 

3:39pm Will: Naw, Saturday at the earliest, it takes time to get a marriage license. 

3:40pm Tyson: True! Plus we have to figure out who his best man will be!

3:41pm Adam: Kippens too young to get married! What the hell are you guys talking about. 

3:43pm Miles: It’s a joke Adam. Chill.

3:44pm Adam: Oh got it. Duh. 

3:45pm Miles: But for real, where is Kippen?!? 

3:46pm Will: In the movie I’m guessing? 

3:47pm Miles: Damn, duh. I’m an idiot. Should we  meet up with him there after the movie? 

3:49pm Tyson: Its right by my house, so sure. Who’s joining?

3:50pm Will: I’ll be there. 

3:52pm Adam: I’m not far, I’ll meet you there. What time? 

3:54pm Will: I checked the movie schedule, looks like probably the Jurassic Park movie. The running time says it should get out around 4:45 or so. 

3:55pm Miles: I’ll show. Sounds like Skylar might be in, he just sent me a long ass text about Marks call to him. Lol. Dude is pissssssssed. He’s at Megan’s house and keeps getting interrupted by this shit. Apparently Mark told him he had to pick a side in the fight against deviancy. Lol. 

3:57pm Zach: I’m #TeamKippen all the way. I’ll be there. Emma wants to come too, is that cool?  

4:01pm Will: it’s cool with me. I’m going to text Driscoll too. 

4:02pm Zach: Dude, she hates Kippen, with reason, he definitely was not cool to her. 

4:03pm Will: I think she’ll be on TJs side for this one. 

4:05pm Zach: Why do I think you know more than you’re telling? 

4:07pm Will: Cause you’re not an idiot?

4:08pm Zach: Well played. 

4:10pm Adam: Wait, What isn’t he telling us? Did I miss something. 

4:11pm Zach: Just show up Adam, if you’re #TeamKippen. 

4:13pm Miles: You’re not planning on making signs saying #TeamKippen are you Zach? 

4:14pm Zach: BEST. IDEA. EVER.

4:15pm Will: If I see one sign I’m setting it on fire.

4:16pm Zach: you’re such a downer Will. What did Buffy say? 

4:17pm Will: Slayer is in of course. She’ll meet us there.

4:19pm Miles: That ‘Of course’ is the most confusing part of all of this.

4:20pm Will: :-)

 

 

      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really enjoyed this chapter. It was only planned to be half this long, but I ended up cutting it off and moving the rest to the next chapter.  
> I’ll. Be super honest, I can’t remember if any of TJs teammates get name-checked, and it wasn’t really important to me to check, but if so, let me know in the comments and I’ll sort them out into pro/con camps.


	12. Sun Shines Through The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the movie, and things begin to seem settled. Keyword: seem.

 

* * *

     As the credits started to roll Cyrus started to pull away from the circle of TJs arms to stand up. TJ sighed and said “Watching movies with you is my new favorite thing to do.” 

      Cyrus smiled and replied “mine too.” 

      As they walked out, Cyrus slipped his hand into TJs and when TJ glanced at him with a questioning look Cyrus shrugged and said “people are already going to know, so why not?” 

      TJ smiled and squeezed his hand a little. “I still can’t believe you liked me back.  I’m the luckiest guy in the world.” 

       “You’re the second luckiest.” Cyrus corrected him gently, “Because I’m the luckiest.” 

       As they walked out of the cineplex they argued breezily as to which of them was the luckiest. Cyrus stopped in mid-comment when he saw Andi, and next to her Buffy. Arrayed around them were people, mostly guys, that he vaguely recognized but didn’t know. 

      When TJ saw where he was looking he got the most indecipherable look on his face. Inside, a wave of conflicting emotions he couldn’t identify battered at him, and he realized he did care more for the opinion of his teammates than he thought. He knew Buffy was on his side and Will of course, but he hadn’t checked his phone after the movie simply because he wasn’t ready to know what his other friends thought. 

       “Kippen, “ Skylar said, “I don’t care who you date, but Mark pissed me off with his bullshit gay agenda crap. When Miles said that they were headed down here to see you I decided to tag alone. We’ve got your back if there’s any problems.” 

       TJ felt a surge of emotions he couldn’t quite identify. “Why are you all here?” He finally asked. 

       Miles laughed, “Dude, this is #TeamKippen, Marks been calling everyone on the team-“

       “He forgot to call me for some reason.” Will interrupted. 

       “Except Will,” Miles added, “anyway, a couple of us decided to come down just in case there was a problem with Scott or anything.” He looked around, “and then it grew a bit.” 

        “Your text was a masterpiece of the genre Kippen.” Tyson added. “One text, no response.” He rolled his eyes and looked at Cyrus “Hopefully he communicates better with you than that.”

        Cyrus blushed, “Well the movie was about to start.” 

       Tyson rolled his eyes, “No, this was about normal for him.” 

       “I thought this was a #TeamKippen event?” TJ complained, “shouldn’t you be talking about my good traits?” 

       Buffy smirked, “I’m here for #TeamCyrus. Plus, the rarity of your texts IS one of your good traits.” 

        “Ooooh, #TeamCyrus, yeah.” Will laughed and stuck out his hand to Cyrus, “I’m Will by the way. And that tall fool is Tyson.” He said pointing. Cyrus shook his hand mutely. 

        Skylar nodded toward Cyrus, “you’re in my history class.” 

        Cyrus nodded. Being the center of attention was not normal for him. “Hi.” He said. “But why are you all here? I’m pretty sure Scott isn’t going to cause any trouble.” 

       The boys looked around at each other. “Just in case.” Will muttered darkly. “He’s a total jerk.” 

      Cyrus smiled and TJ replied, “You guys are crazy. But thanks. I didn’t think I cared, until I saw you guys here, but-“ He paused, looking for words. “Just thanks.” 

       As they started walking again, Buffy and Andi gravitated to Cyruses side, and TJs friends moved toward his side. 

       “So,” Zach said, “How long has this been going on?” 

       TJ replied “since Friday,” and the same time Cyrus said “since yesterday.” They looked st each other and TJ said, “It depends on what you mean by ‘this’ I guess.” 

        Zach smirked, “sounds like you guys need to get your story straight. Or well, you know.” 

       Will rolled his eyes. “Zach, have ever not said a thought as soon as you had it?” 

       Zach gave a quick laugh and said, “Nope.”

       “Where are we going?” Cyrus asked.

       TJ smiled,”WE are going to the spoon for milkshakes and baby taters, I have no idea where everyone else is going.” 

        “I could use a milkshake.” Will said with an impish smile. 

         Emma looked at Zach, “I’d like a milkshake too.” She said and Zach smiled. 

        A quick conversation around of the group and everyone set off down the street to the Spoon, where they crowded into booths filling the place up in an instant. 

        After a minute Amber came over and asked “what is going on with all these people?” 

        “It’s a long story.” Buffy said from across the  table she shared with TJ, Cyrus and Andi, “but I promise to tell you about it later?” 

         Cyrus pulled her close and whispered into her ear “you were right. He did like me.”

         Ambers face lit up with that slightly terrifying smile and she whispered back, “I knew it! I’m so happy for you Cyrus!” Standing back up she said “The usual?” Cyrus, Andi, and Buffy all nodded, and TJ added, “can I get a coke and a burger?” 

        She nodded and said “coming up!” And moved onto the next table to get everyone’s orders.

         As they ate, Buffy kept looking across at the two boys, still getting used to Cyrus and TJ in her head. Surprisingly it didn’t bother he, for all she’d had so much bad blood with TJ in the past, because he had been trying so hard to change. 

        And Cyrus. Cyrus looked happy and relaxed in a way she’d never seen him. He glowed when he looked at TJ, who was clearly in wonder at Cyrus as well. 

        For Andi it was harder. Though she’d never had much interaction with TJ, she was a fiercely loyal friend, and his treatment of Buffy was still fresh in her mind. And Buffy forgiving him hadn’t earned her forgiveness as an automatic. 

         But she too saw the way the boys looked at each other, and she knew that even if she couldn’t forgive how he’d treated Buffy, she had to accept that he was a part of Cyrus’s life now, and Cyrus deserved all the support he could get. So she was determined to let the past go.

           For TJ, who’d never been particularly good at friendship, sitting in the midst of so much shared love and support was a revelation. 

         But it was Cyrus, of course, to whom sitting at that table meant the most. He kept thinking about Buffy’s use of #Team Cyrus, and he realized this was his team.

         TJs friends would pop over from the tables they’d broken into groups at to take the chance to sit and get to know the boy who’d so unexpectedly caught TJs heart. But the core four of them stayed until after everyone else had said their goodbyes, and evening was fast approaching and a knot started to form in Cyrus’s stomach, cause he knew what came next. He couldn’t put it off any longer. He needed to tell his mom and stepdad. 

       

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness. I kind of wrote myself into a corner in that last chapter. The idea of having everyone show up seemed so fun. IT WAS NOT. I’ve written like 6 versions of this chapter. Lesson learned: I need to know what comes next before I write myself into a corner like that again:-)   
> I did finally get all the pieces in place to move the story to its end though. Well. The end of the first story arc anyway.


	13. The Sun As You Shine On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus comes out to his mom, and reality starts to set in about Monday morning.

   TJ walked Cyrus the fairly short walk to his mom and stepdads house, his very presence a relief from the panic he felt. On the one hand he knew it was going to be ok, his dad would never have encouraged this if he thought it wouldn’t be, but there was still this dread that he couldn’t escape. 

      They climbed the stairs up to the front door and Cyrus turned to TJ, “I’ll call you later?”

      TJ smiled. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you? Or to wait?”

       Cyrus shook his head. “I’ll call you after. I imagine I’ll be here awhile.” 

       TJ reached down and squeezed his hand. “You’ve got this Underdog.” He said. “I’ll talk to you later.” 

      Cyrus watched TJ walk away, and smiled when TJ looked back at him from the sidewalk and grinned. After a moment Cyrus turned and slid his key into the lock and walked in.

       There were differences between his mom and dads houses, a certain sense of the people who lived there, and his moms house always felt more lived in. She was someone who had one or two too many pictures on the wall, and three or four different books that she was currently reading around. Todd was different, more organized and more contained. 

          “Mom?” Cyrus called. “Are you here?”

          “Cy?” She called from upstairs. “This is a surprise.” She came into view at the top of the stairs. “I’m just putting away some laundry, come talk to me?” 

          He took a breathe and went up the stairs, pausing at the top for a hug. 

           “Did you need something?” She asked, “or just came by to visit?”

          He took a deep breathe. “I actually needed to talk to you about something.” He said. 

         She looked at him seriously. “Is everything alright?” She asked.

         “Yes,” He said. “It’s just-“ He wasn’t sure how to continue. “I’ve met someone. No, it’s not just that.” He stopped again. Finally he blurted out, “I have a boyfriend.” 

          Whatever Leslie was expecting, it wasn’t that. She just stood quietly for a minute and then hugged her son. “That’s wonderful!” She said. “Come and tell me about him!” 

         The relief flooded through him. It was one thing to know it was going to go okay, but another to have it over with. 

         While his mom folded laundry and put it away, Cyrus told her the mom appropriate version of TJ, avoiding the subject of TJs father altogether, but mentioning that he played basketball with Buffy. His stepfather Todd, as it turned out, was on a retreat weekend with some friends, so it was just the two of them. But then he got to the final part.

        “So we went to a movie and one of the guys from TJs basketball team saw us together, and I wanted you to hear it from me, before you heard it from anyone else.” 

         She got a concerned look. “Are you ready for other people to know?” 

         He shrugged. “It’s past the point where that matters. People are going to know. And I don’t care so much that they know, but now everyone is going to be watching because it’s not just someone dating TJ Kippen, it’s a guy dating TJ Kippen. And I just wanted some time to get used to it myself, I guess. I didn’t really want the attention.” 

        “Kippen?” She asked. “Like Congressman Kippen?” 

         Cyrus realized his mistake immediately. “Yeah, that’s his dad, TJ doesn’t really have anything to do with him though, since the divorce.” 

         “That’s probably not too surprising with his dad being-“ she looked for a word.

        “Difficult?” Cyrus provided. 

        She nodded. “Exactly.” 

        He nodded back at her. “He doesn’t really like talking about it.” 

        She nodded. “I bet. That has to be really hard to deal with. His dad says really terrible things. Is there anything we can do to make tomorrow easier for you?” She asked. “If kids are already talking, are you ready for that?” 

       He nodded. “I think so. I’m not sure what to expect, actually. Like I know the basketball team knows, but it’s not like everyone will know.” 

       She looked at him, “Cy, you’re right, not everyone will know. And a lot of those who do won't care. But once people start talking it’s going to be more than just the basketball team.” 

        On one level Cyrus had known this, but on another, it hadn’t really sunk in. He was used to being, not invisible exactly, but not remarkable. He had his friends, and people he’d gone to school with since forever, some he was friendly with, the people he’d invited to his bar mitzvah, but he hadn’t come to grips with that those casual friendships might change tomorrow. 

       TJ was going to be more used to this, he realized. He was more visible because he was the captain of the basketball team, and his dad was his dad, so he was used to not being invisible. Suddenly his boundless confidence made more sense. The question was, could Cyrus channel some of that?

 

      Walk to the muffin like you already own it.

       Cyrus could do that. 

       He would do that.

 

        He looked at his mom, “I think I’ve got this.” He said in a surprised voice. “But I’ll let you know how it goes.” 

       She smiled “Do you want to stay for dinner?”  

       “No, I know Sharon is expecting me home. I told them I was coming over to tell you but said I’d be home for dinner.” He leaned in and gave her a big hug. “Thank you mom.” He whispered. 

       “Of course sweetheart.” She said. “I’ll see you Friday night after school?” It was time for the every two week moving between houses for him. 

       “Yep!” He said with a laugh, and he went back down the stairs and out the door. 

        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiii. Lol.   
> So originally this chapter was longer, but I ended up cutting the last part because I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. And after I cut it I liked the chapter much better.   
> So the next chapter is going to be interesting isn’t it? 
> 
> Do you think Cyrus really has this as handled as he thinks?


	14. Strangers Making the Most of the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday morning comes.

      Monday morning. Cyrus tried not to think of it as some sort of day of reckoning, but he’d had 12 hours to convince himself that disaster loomed. He’d avoided social media after he got home, just texting with TJ and then Buffy about the next day. He crawled out of bed and showered, and knowing he was going to have a challenging day, he picked his favorite shirt and cardigan and dark wash jeans to make him look taller.

       When he went downstairs for breakfast Sharon was just rushing out the door to head to a meeting but she paused to give him a quick kiss on the forehead and as she rushed out she called back “there’s muffins by the fridge!” 

       Cyrus smiled, his day already off to a good start, and he went in to grab himself a muffin. But when he got to the counter he realized he’d been betrayed. 

       Bran. 

       Bran muffins weren’t even muffins! They were the anti-muffin! For every good and noble muffin baked into existence, somewhere, an anti-muffin was baked too. 

       And now they’d invaded his house.

       Despair grew. But Cyrus took a deep breath. He could get through this. He grabbed some OJ and made some toast and grabbed his bag when someone knocked on the door. He opened it, expecting it to be Buffy and was surprised to see TJ instead.

       “TJ!” He said in delight and leaned in for a hug. Hungry for that moment of bliss when the world would be perfect, but as he held TJ he could feel a tension in the taller guy he’d never felt before.

        He looked up at TJs troubled face. “TJ?” He asked quietly, “is something wrong?” 

        TJ looked at him, “Have you been on social media at all this morning?” 

        Cyrus’s heart fell. “No, I’ve been trying to avoid it.” He said quietly.

        TJ sighed, “Mark was busier yesterday than just calling the team, he’s apparently decided to dedicate himself to making sure everyone at Jefferson knows, and as many people at Adams as he knows.”

        Cyrus looked stunned. “I don’t even know anyone at Adams.” He finally said. 

       “I do.” TJ said miserably. “I’m so sorry underdog. I never meant this to happen, I just wanted to take you on a date and spend time with you.”

       Cyrus’s heart melted again, TJ was worried about him. He smiled up at TJ, “Teej, I loved our date. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I want a million more dates with you.The only people who’s opinions I care about are fine with us.” 

       TJ looked down, not sure at first if Cyrus was telling the truth, but the look on his face assured him that Cyrus meant exactly what he said. TJ leaned in and hugged him again, and this time the hug felt right. Cyrus felt that incandescent glow again, and he knew that no matter how awkward today was, it was worth it to have TJ in his life. 

       When they pulled apart TJ glanced at the counter, “you’re not having a muffin?” 

       Cyrus glared at the package with scorn. “Bran.” He hissed. “ the anti-muffin. No goodness, no joy. And they taste like gravel.” 

       TJ picked up the package and looked at it. “I think these ones on the other end are chocolate chocolate chip.” He said with a smile and handing the package to Cyrus.

       With a yelp of joy, Cyrus tore open the package and pulled out one of his prized muffins. TJ had saved the day! As he munched happily on his muffin he gathered his stuff and they wandered out the door as Cyrus filled TJ in on his opinions about the many types of muffins in the muffin family.

       He glanced at his phone and saw he’d missed a text from Buffy that she’d meet TJ and him at school. He smiled. As they walked, his hand bumped against TJs, who was walking as close as he could. Cyrus slipped his hand into TJs while he watched TJs face, unsure what reaction he was going to get. 

       When TJ felt Cyrus’s hand slip into his, he knew his heart was going to explode. The smile he constantly wore around Cyrus grew bigger and bigger, and he squeezed his hand together with Cyrus’s. 

       As they got closer to the school TJ looked at him, “It’s your call, holding hands when we walk in, or not?”

        Cyrus thought for a moment and shrugged. “Maybe not the first day?” He said in a quiet voice. 

       TJ grinned. “If you change your mind, just let me know.” Their hands slipped apart as they drew closer to the school. They saw Buffy sitting on one of the benches outside the school with Miles and Will. As they drew close their friends stood up. 

       There was the usual jocularity among the basketball boys, teasing each other to break the tension, while Buffy quietly said to Cyrus, “TJ told you?” 

      Cyrus nodded. “I’m okay.” He said. “I’m ready for this. Bring it on.” He paused. “Okay, maybe I’m a little nervous.” 

      She laughed. “Don’t worry,” Buffy said. “In group message last night the guys and I went over your schedule. There’s at least one of us in all of your classes in case anyone hassles you.” She smiled, “look at you, you didn’t even have to join the basketball team to get a posse to watch your back!” 

       He laughed. “Are we starting a gang here? Posse?” 

       She smiled. “If anyone causes a problem I wanted to make sure you were protected.” She said. 

       “But you’re not worried about me?” TJ said with a smile. “I’m hurt Driscoll. Truly.” 

       She rolled her eyes. “Not at all TJ.” She snapped back. 

      He laughed. 

      Together they made their way toward the front doors. TJ looked at Cyrus, who was already looking at him. With a deep breathe being the only sign of his nerves, and the mask of the old TJ slipping over his face, he threw open the door and they walked in.

       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a conversation on Tumblr about bran muffins being the worst possible muffin, so I had promised to include that in my fic, so here it is:-)   
> As always, let me know what you think, and if there’s anything you want to see. I’ve also fine tuned this AU a bit to accommodate a bizarre cracked ship for Reed/Jonah, which it’s on AO3 as ‘In the Reeds’. There are some wobbles in strict show continuity previous to the end of Season 2, but in this AU nothing canon of season 3 exists. Because Wuffy is heresy, and obv TJ and Cy’s Timeline is way way different. With that in mind, I’m trying to decide who I do want to start shipping Buffy with. Ideas?


	15. Placeholder

Hi!   
So I just wanted to pop in and leave a note that I am not abandoning this. I started writing during a bit of writers block on my own stuff and finally figured out how to get back on track. I will be back soon with real chapters.


	16. The Futures Not Ours To See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to school after everything and everyone knows. Butwhets it mean?

     Cyrus was used to being invisible. This was the opposite of that. Not everyone was looking, but enough people were. Some people clearly didn’t know, others just didn’t seem to care. But there were others, surprisingly few who were definitely looking and taking. 

       He glanced at Buffy who seemed unphased, and TJ who looked so much like the old TJ before the muffins and the swings and every little change since they’d met. It weirded Cyrus out a bit to imagine that old TJ was still in there somewhere, until TJ caught him looking at him and his eye twinkled and a smile ghosted across his lips. 

       He’d spent the walk to school grappling with how he felt about this. He couldn’t imagine why Mark cared about this. As they came to the place where he and TJ would split off to go to their different classes he paused, “so I’ll see you later, I guess.” Cyrus said. 

        TJ smiled “you’re doing awesome. I’ll see you at lunch?” 

        Cyrus smiled and nodded. Will and Buffy went with him, Will because they shared the class, but Buffy was only a few doors down. She gripped his hand for a moment before she walked into her class and said “you’ve got this.”

       Will and he walked away. “So how are you actually feeling?” Will asked.

        “Weird. I’m not scared, I just don’t feel invisible anymore. And I didn’t realize I’d miss that.” Cyrus said. 

        Will nodded. “You should talk to my brother. He went through this same thing when he came out.” 

        Cyrus smiled. “Yeah, that might be good. Cause people looking at me is really odd.” 

        Will smiled. “Just pretend they’re looking at me. Cause really, they should be. I’m amazing.” 

       Cyrus laughed. TJs basketball friends were different than he’d imagined. More normal. He’d thought they’d be totally different, even  unrelatable. But instead they were funny and kind. He wondered what people thought about him that wasn’t true. 

        They walked into class joking about homework and took their usual seats. Will was behind Cyrus and a row over, and Cyrus realized they'd sat like that since the beginning of the year and never talked. Without TJ he’d never have tried to talk to Will, who was surprisingly funny and interesting. 

        The bell rang and the teacher started talking, and the mundanity finally made him relax. Maybe the day would be ok after all. Maybe it was going to be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all. Sorry I’ve been absent. My own writing got back on track and I may also have fallen back into a well of Teen Wolf fanfiction as well. I will be continuing this, but updates will continue being slower since I’m writing three things at once.


End file.
